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2009-01-30T23:59:14-08:00
<p> </p><p>On one hand, I was taking night classes in screenwriting and never quite fitting my scripts into the plot-point-on-page-25 structure. On the other hand, I kept getting email on how to make $694,031 on the Internet in 30 days by giving products away. And I wasn’t getting any sleep. So I decided to make my own movies and show Hollywood how it’s done. <br /></p><p><br /></p><p>Having big stars, big explosions and plot points in the right places wasn't keeping the studios afloat the way it used to. So I turned to making boring movies, as is my natural inclination, only more so. For my first movie, <strong><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KI1hePBC1bs">WebcamMurder.com</a></strong>, about life casters who live in front of webcams 24/7, I kept telling the actors, “Take longer pauses…no, longer.” For my second movie, <strong><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9Z38Eo31sU" target="_blank"> Sublime Crime: A Subliminal Mystery</a></strong>, I did away with that pesky plot thing and made the whole thing subliminal, leaving it to the audience to fill in the action with their dreams. <br /></p><p><br /></p><p>I am very proud to have invented my own genre, <em>Film Sleepy</em>, which takes up where classics like <strong>Gigli</strong> and <strong>Heaven’s Gate</strong> left off. Today’s world is too stressful for conflict, suspense or thrills. What we really need is more sleep, and my products provide it. Not that audiences realize it yet. I’m going to keep making film sleepies till they do…and I’m keeping my subscriptions to Quick Internet Riches emails just in case. <br /></p><p> </p>
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2009-01-30T23:59:17-08:00
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Turn Your Weaknesses Into Your Strengths
2009-11-07T13:08:03-08:00
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